


Safety

by garyc0re



Category: Bully (Video Games)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Post-Relationship, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Underage Smoking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:01:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24850486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garyc0re/pseuds/garyc0re
Summary: "So the loud noise triggered your trauma, and your first impulse was to... fuck me?"
Relationships: Jimmy Hopkins/Gary Smith
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	Safety

**Author's Note:**

> normalize them learning abt mental health shit as they get older ok bye

Smoke swirled in the air of Jimmy's dusty dormroom, hot with the stifling air of newly dawned sping and no proper air conditioning. Sweat trickled down his neck as he took in slow, deep breaths, coming down from his orgasmic high.

Beside him, his partner of four months breathed out more smoke, his breath whistling through the gap in his teeth. Jimmy didn't look at him, opting to stare at the ceiling instead. 

"You told me you stopped smoking."

The sentence was clipped, angry. Almost accusing. Jimmy Hopkins didn't like broken promises and he especially didn't like them when it came to Gary Smith, the boy he had agreed to give up polyamory for. The boy he had agreed upon helping. 

"I did." The voice was tense, like Gary hadn't expected him to say anything about it. "I lied."

Jimmy felt frustration run through his veins as he turned on the sheets. Sticky cum was drying between them, but Jimmy didn't care as he reached for Gary's wrist and snagged it. Gary made a noise of protest.

"No way, man. You're not fucking smoking in my dorm." He went to take the cigar from Gary and practically had to wrestle him for it, nearly getting burned. Eventually he won, because he always did, and stubbed out the burning tip on his nightstand.

"Fine, I'll leave." Gary's voice was rough and Jimmy could hear a ghost of what he had been, years ago, as he kicked Petey in the balls and suggested they take over the school together.

"Stop it." Jimmy tightened his grip on Gary's wrist and promptly straddled him as the older boy started to move. Gary's skin was buzzing with anxious energy as he rose his free arm to try and push Jimmy away, but Jimmy pinned that one, too. "Stop running away."

"I'm not running away." The hiss he got back in response made Jimmy's head buzz. He didn't understand why Gary got like this. They were together now - they needed to deal with his shit as a team.

"Yes, you are." Jimmy dug his nails into Gary's wrists and lowered his face so that he loomed over him. "You come in here out of nowhere, fuck me while hardly speaking a word and then break your promise. Something's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong." Gary replied curtly. "Maybe you're self-projecting?" He added, taunting, mocking. Always baring his teeth and rearing for a fight.

Jimmy refused to give him ground. "Tell me what's wrong. Something is obviously upsetting you, and bottling it up won't help. You need to talk about this kinda shit when you're not okay."

Gary had clenched his jaw, and was choosing now to look past Jimmy, at the ceiling. Ignoring him, no doubt, or at least trying to. 

"Stop ignoring me."

" _Stop ignoring me_ ," Gary mocked.

"Gary." He warned.

Gary snapped his eyes back to Jimmy and seemed to seethe with brilliant anger. "You know what? No, fuck you. You don't get to decide for me if I'm okay or not."

"Gary, that's not-" Jimmy started, and then squeezed Gary's wrists as he was cut off.

"Do you already know how much bullshit I go through every single day of my fucking life? This shit sucks. Everything sucks. Excuse me for wanting to have sex with my boyfriend and enjoy a fucking cigar." 

"Babe..." Jimmy softened his voice, rubbing soft circles into Gary's left wrist with his thumb. Tears had sprung into his partner's eyes but it was obvious he was determined for Jimmy not to see him cry. He dropped his other hand down to Gary's face, cupping his jaw with a light touch. "I'm not trying to decide your feelings for you. I can just tell when things are bothering you. You're my boyfriend, baby. I just want you to talk to me."

Silence. Time stretched on with Jimmy's desk fan whirring lazily, leftover smoke floating in the air above them. 

"Gary." Jimmy mumbled, his hand sliding down to gently squeeze the side of his neck. For a moment he doubted himself, but then he shoved the thought down. He knew Gary Smith. And he knew when something was off. "Speak to me."

" _Speak to me_ ," Gary hissed. "Do you even hear yourself? You sound like a dog trainer."

A single tear ran down his face as he finally broke under Jimmy's pressuring, and he moved his free hand up to wipe his face. Jimmy's heart ached, but he kept his movements light and patient - circling Gary's wrist gently with a thumb while letting his other hand rub the back of his partner's neck.

"You know what you are?" Gary mumbled out, tone venomous, as if he hadn't started to cry at all. "You're a moron, that's what you are."

"I know." Jimmy murmured to him and slid off of him to settle down next to the older boy, slipping his arms around him naturally. Gary immediately settled into his embrace as if he had been made to be held in Jimmy's arms, burying his face into Jimmy's neck.

"You're a lovable moron at best, but you're still a moron." Gary mumbled into his skin. "You're also sweaty, Jesus Christ."

Jimmy grinned and started to laugh, shoulders shaking with the force. Gary made a protestful noise somewhere in the back of his throat - almost a whine - and didn't move any inch of himself away from Jimmy. 

"Thanks, babe." He finally sufficed. "It is ninety degrees outside, after all."

"Shut up." Gary sounded embrassed - Jimmy couldn't see his face from this position, so he couldn't tell - and Jimmy chuckled again, softer this time. He moved one hand up to tangle his fingers in Gary's hair. 

"Ready to talk?" Jimmy asked, rubbing soothing circles onto Gary's scalp with a thumb. He had learned early on that Gary really liked this, but especially during _feelings time. Feelings time_ was hard enough with Gary. 

"I guess." His boyfriend shifted in his arms, getting himself more comfortable. Jimmy licked his lips as his skin pressed against Gary's, but forced those thoughts away quickly.

"Need me to lead?" 

This happened sometimes. After discussing it some with Pete, he had come to the understanding that Gary was just easier to tame if you gave him a direct line of conversation. Asking _what happened, what's wrong_ wouldn't always work because it was so broad. Gary mumbled a soft affirmative into Jimmy's neck, which once again made Jimmy thank just how helpful Pete had been in these last few months.

"Okay, let's start with a simple one." Jimmy frowned faintly. He was no expert, but what tended to happen was that there was usually a trigger, something that happened to cause the initial feelings of upset within his partner. "What made you angry? _I dunno_ isn't a good enough answer."

Gary muttered a muffled complaint into his neck and then moved his face to look over Jimmy. His eyes roamed Jimmy's skin, and he seemed to be thinking. Finally, he spoke. "Someone shut their locker too loud in the hallway." He hissed as he sharply inhaled. "I think it was Algie."

_Algie. Locker. Loud noises?_ Jimmy nodded. "Why did that make you angry?"

Gary bit his lip. Nervous habit, usually hot but in this scenario Jimmy just hoped Algie hadn't done something serious to his partner. "I dunn... I'm not sure." He corrected when Jimmy gave him a look.

"What did it make you think about?" 

"The asylum." Gary responded almost immediately. There we go - Jimmy had just asked the wrong question the first time. Frowning, Jimmy nodded.

"Tell me what went through your mind, baby."

Gary hesitated for such a long period of time that Jimmy thought he simply wasn't going to answer. He had resorted to resting his head against Jimmy's shoulder. When he spoke, Jimmy was surprised - he had been trying to come up with what to ask next, thinking the question had been too generalized.

"I saw slamming cells and angry orderlies." Gary mumbled. "I think it was a flashback or whatever."

Ah, yes. The dreaded C-PTSD, something Jimmy knew hardly anything about really, except that Gary had only recently been diagnosed in November, a month before they started dating. Breathing out evenly, Jimmy said, "And that made you angry because it reminded you of the asylum?"

"No. I was angry because of the reaction itself." Gary was tense. "Things started to blur and I needed to get out so I came to the first place I thought of as safe."

Jimmy's room. He paused to consider this for a moment. Four months in and they hadn't even said _I love you_ yet, but Gary felt safe enough to come here first? Jimmy was almost flattered.

"So the loud noise triggered your trauma, and your first impulse was to... fuck me?" Jimmy squinted at him.

"My first impulse was to stab you." Gary's voice was tight and Jimmy knew it wasn't a joke, but he couldn't help but laugh anyway.

"Yeah, like you could ever." Gary looked at him incredulously and Jimmy couldn't help but lean in for a kiss. He was just so cute.

"Fucking was a better response than knifing, good job." Jimmy murmured to him, amusement in his tone. Gary glared daggers at him and for a second Jimmy wondered if Gary may actually try to hurt him, but then he just settled down against Jimmy's chest and mumbled out a relunctant _whatever._

"Do you wanna talk about the asylum yet?" Jimmy asked him. They hadn't, but Jimmy had given offers like this, when Gary had these moments. He wanted him to know he'd be there, even if Gary wasn't ready.

"No." Gary's response was quick and that was the end of that conversation. Jimmy jerked his head up and down in a brief nod and then tiredly pressed his head to his partner's.

"Promise me you won't smoke again." Jimmy said, a clipped threat underlying his words. Gary hesitated. "Or at least promise to try."

"I can try." Gary agreed, and that was all Jimmy wanted from him.

**Author's Note:**

> https://schoolfullofmorons.tumblr.com


End file.
